from Spiritual Materialism by Chogyam Trungpa.
(Trungpa is a tough cookie, giving us no place to run!)
We have come here to learn about spirituality. I trust the genuine quality of this search but we must question its nature. The problem is that ego can convert anything to its own use, even spirituality. Ego is constantly attempting to acquire and apply the teachings of spirituality for its own benefit.
The teachings are treated as an external thing, external to “me”, a philosophy which we try to imitate. We do not actually want to identify with or become the teachings. So if our teacher speaks of renunciation of ego, we attempt to mimic renunciation of ego.
We go through the motions, make the appropriate gesture, but we really do not want to sacrifice any part of our way of life.
We become skilful actors, and while playing deaf and dumb to the real meaning of the teachings, we find some comfort in pretending to follow the path…
Self -Deception.
Self-deception is a constant problem as we progress along a spiritual path. Ego is always trying achieve spirituality. It is rather like wanting to witness your own funeral. For instance, in the beginning we might approach our spiritual friend hoping to get something wonderful from him/her.
This approach is called “hunting the guru.” Traditionally, it is compared to hunting the deer musk.
The hunter stalks the deer, kills it, and removing the musk. We could take this approach to the guru and spirituality, but it would be self-deception. It would have nothing to do with real opening or surrendering….
BUDDHA IN THE MUD is a blog - a living book based on the Dzogchen teachings. Our teacher is life, and life is karma. We are all Buddhas in the mud of concepts. 
“Ego is always trying achieve spirituality. It is rather like wanting to witness your own funeral.”
Excellent point!
Dear Bob
Trungpa was full of crazy wisdom! We once took a friend along to one of his public talks: there were about 600 people there. His opening remark was, “In meditation, there is no meditator and no reference point.”
He then looked around at the audience and said, “I’m getting no inspiration!” and walked off the stage! The funny is that that short teaching was so profound, and has never left us…
Tony
Back in the day, perhaps around 1974, I attended a lecture of his in San Francisco. He showed up about an hour late, but some musician kept things going while the audience waited for the Rinpoche.
When he finally arrived, he stumbled out onto the stage, obviously intoxicated, and rambled on about some Christians who were passing out literature at the theatre entrance.
Then he got sick, and was led off the stage, and that was my introduction to Tibetan Buddhism. Not wanting to write the whole tradition off, I next went to Berkeley and visited with Tarthang Tulku. He told me that, if I was going to get involved in Vajrayana, I would need to learn Tibetan and do a lot of text translations.
Well, that visit, combined with my Trungpa experience, that was enough to turn me off to the Tibetan tradition for quite some time, although since then I have certainly come to appreciate its wealth of helpful qualities.
Blessings!
I WONDER WHERE HE IS NOW?
TONY
Probably at some sort of post-mortem re-hab facility!
🙂