The Gift Of Doubt
Every conclusion collapses under scrutiny.
The real teaching begins when we lose certainty.
When we start our journey, we learn new words and ways and grow in confidence, but we may still feel incomplete. The purpose of Dharma is to first create certainty, which gives rise to doubt, which destroys certainty. We won’t understand this if we just keep going back for more of the same.
Feeling Wrong
When we see others’ display and don’t feel the same, are we wrong? When the academic or religious ways no longer satisfy us, what is happening? When we first enter a religion or spiritual sect, it’s full of new words and ways. It is true that we need discipline and humility so as to become open and not arrogant but, as we inherit the form, we become subtly stuck in those words and ways, and find ourselves going round in circles.
Doubt Is Not For Everyone
“Don’t take my words for the truth; test them” refers to the fact that the teachings are incomplete if we’ve only memorised them. When we realise them, we no longer react as we used to. A conflict arises between the words we’ve learnt and what is experiencing the words. The meaning changes from worshipping that which is without, to realising that which is within. A doubt occurs – an oscillation. The outer form is but a mirage or mirror. Realisation is incomprehensible.
The beginner seeks the certainty of “It’s like this” and “It’s like that”, but the real teaching begins when we lose that certainty. Only then can we begin to understand and realise the unreality of all phenomena and the ultimate sameness of samsara and nirvana – and that which that observes all that.
This hidden teaching – this gift – waits until compassion, humility, and mature stability arise. All concepts collapse under this realisation, and we are no longer a reactive being. This is the beginning of wisdom.
There was never anything to attain. Just allow ‘certainties’ to drop away, before resting in the truth of ultimate being.
Realisation doesn’t end all suffering.
This is the role of doubt – the gift – in advanced practice.
Every conclusion collapses under scrutiny
all that is left is pure awareness