Getting permission to express.

 A couple of years ago, while on an intensive retreat, during a Yidam deity practice, and after much doubt and questioning, I realised that the three Kayas were none other than the so-called poisons, and vice versa. Following that revelation, in an interview with my root teacher, he nodded, smiled and gave me a hug. I said, (and I cannot believe I actually said this to my teacher, me being a bit working class) in a moment of spontaneous bluntness, “You have to mean that!” and he replied, “I do.”

 A year later, I asked my root teacher if I might write on the subject of consciousness.

He said, “Yes, if it does not give you heart ache.”

 It doesn’t. It just comes. Every day, I question whether to write or not. It seems right. Only you can know that.

 Since starting this blog, I asked him again, “Is this okay to write, as it sounds like teaching?” He made no reply, so it is left to me to know whether it is of benefit or not. Only you can know that.

 As you have to do the work (or non-work!), only you can judge. We know that we are driven by ego-clinging, but there comes a time when all doubt must be dropped. We recognise the truth, decide on that, and rest in that recognition. Only you can know that.

 I was prompted to write this as, I’ve just read this in “Dakini Teachings”:

 “Master Padma said: “In the future, when the dark age of degeneration arrives, some people who claim to be practitioners will desire to teach others without receiving permission. Without having practised themselves they will instruct others in meditation. Without being liberated themselves they will pretend to give instructions for liberation.

 “Without being devoid of self-interest they will instruct others to cast away their fetters of attachment and be generous. Without the slightest understanding of the good or evil of their own actions they will spout clairvoyant statements about the good and evil fare of others.

 “Having no stability themselves they will claim to be benefiting other beings. I think there will be many who will pretend, be hypocritical, cheat, and deceive in the name of the Dharma.

 “…find a qualified master…”

 One can easily say that one is humble, but in that humility one has to stand on firm ground and not wobble. Only you can know that.

 Be careful what you read. Even this. Trust your intuition: that is your inner teacher.