Life Hasn’t Turned Out As I’d Hoped

It’s turned out better.

Life felt wrong … people felt wrong … I hoped that there was something more than this.

I’ve been through many ‘spiritual’ groups throughout my life, all of which showed fanatical formalism, using forms of worship without any display of compassionate essence. Basically, these people weren’t very friendly; they lacked empathetic understanding, and only had eyes for the figurehead in the hope that they would make it all better for them. Groups worship groupthink.

In letting go of it all, a great change occurred. It’s not easy to put into words: the closest I can get is some sort of inner inspiration and gratitude. All the anguish was a blessing in disguise – an apparent misfortune that eventually has good results, for which one is grateful. There is a sense of gratitude that one’s inner questioning had been right.

Letting go and actually seeing for the first time
– rather than seeing through others’ eyes –
is uplifting.

On Marpa’s return journey from India to Tibet, his associate threw his notes and texts overboard, leaving Marpa with nothing.

All he had left was whatever was actually experienced.
Wisdom is not in the words.