Does Spirituality Put You Off Spirituality?!
“…OMG, they’re at it again…!”
When spirituality becomes a facade, we recognise this immediately, and it causes us confusion. Happy-clappiness is emotional blackmail to suck us in; “Everything is wonderful! And you’re being negative to say otherwise”. We begin to doubt our own sanity, as the whole point of spirituality is liberation from ‘self indulgence’, while realising unconditional happiness!
It’s a question of manifestation. We may all have the same inner wisdom-qualities, but these manifest differently – we are not all the same. We’re are not all one…but I’m sure you’ll disagree! 😉
When we encounter this facade, we find ourselves either accepting (joining in) or rejecting (walking away) when we should be using the very teachings to solve the problem. I say ‘facade’ because a smily face disguises nothing; underneath, there is still work to be done. Underneath that is the reality. The teaching is neither accepting nor rejecting (like or dislike), but merely perceiving perceptions, and dropping any clinging that causes discomfort. This teaching is known as “One Taste”. We may still experience a feeling of being p***ed off, but this is no different from happy clappy; one taste is beyond reactions.
Don’t let others ‘spirituality’ put you off.
We have to be sound in our own mind.
Recognising that we have made fools of ourselves
– all by ourselves –
is a very good start.
Becoming a Dharma students, doesn’t necessarily mean we have started being students of the Dharma. Read Chögyam Trungpa’s book, “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”; he leaves us nowhere to hide. He’s a tough managing director – “OMG, he’s having a go at us again!” – but he gets the job done! We can be grateful for being introduced to the real Dharma, dealing with the moment in the moment, without the need for a smiley facade.
If I’m being honest, much of this is to do with the people with whom teachers surround themselves: there could be an assumption by the teacher that we are all like that group, which we’re not. But here we are in the realm of spiritual politics!
BUDDHA IN THE MUD is a blog - a living book based on the Dzogchen teachings. Our teacher is life, and life is karma. We are all Buddhas in the mud of concepts. 
Well, that title certainly caught my attention 😉 and the answer is yes. “YES!!” Warning…bit of a rampage ahead Tony – please do delete if you feel it’s inappropriate for me to let off steam here.
Coincidentally, this morning, I was looking on the website of a lama for whom I have the highest regard, and with whom I have done many teachings. On the site was a series of photos from a recent retreat held by him in the US, and almost all the images were of smiling and laughing students with captions underneath such as “Happy to be in the lama’s presence” and “Happy and content” and “Another sublime moment.” So…am I to believe that, if I go on retreat with this teacher, I too will become smiley and laughy and huggy? I think not. Does that mean that I am therefore not welcome to join this group of smiley, laughy students? Will my rather more restrained, unemotional and reserved demeanour cause them to feel uncomfortable? I’m being serious here – I feel, looking at those photos, that I would be out of place there.
The final image was the rear view of a couple of students with their arms round each others’ shoulders, staring off into the sunset and the caption read something like, “The end of another perfect retreat”. It was pure Mills and Boon, or an advert for life insurance for the over 60s. Come on! “A perfect retreat”? What is such a thing? And how can it possibly be the same for every student?
What worries me is that the organisers/advisers/authority figures cannot see the message that such material gives out. It’s exclusive, in the way that publicity for a golf club which shows only white male members sends out the message that women and people of colour are not welcome. It may not be intentional but the message still resounds. What can’t they see that? Are they so submerged in the candyfloss saccharine of the post-retreat feelgood high?
I wish, wish, wish that Buddhism in the west would become ordinary. The teachings are so very valuable, but they’re being wrapped up in a squishy blanket of sentimentality. I wish Buddhism would throw off the trappings of Christianity with all its associated social mores and acceptable behaviour of niceness. That it could free itself from the self-help, how-to-make-you-feel-better-about-yourself syndrome that is in danger of smothering it – particularly in the US (and we all know that whatever happens in the US infiltrates other cultures…unfortunately).
Chogyam Trungpa would turn in his grave.
Sorry about that, Tony, but there are few people to whom I would feel happy expressing all that. I have to make the assumption that there are others who feel the same way, but I suppose, by definition, they’re going to keep a low profile.
I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.
…. 🙂 That’s a genuine acknowledging smile!
This subject has legs, – delicate legs. Article to follow.
Thanks for being honest, and that’s the key.
Tony
Thanks for the reply – and the article written in response to my rantings! I suppose the thing that gets to me is the one-sided images of ultra-positivity and happiness that is always presented when Dharma Centres publicise themselves. I know it has to be that way, and that if a group portrayed themselves as miserable and tormented, no one would want to join them!! 😉 but I can’t help wishing that it could all be a bit less Mills and Boon…and that there was a way in which those whose demeanour isn’t the stereotypical calm-and-peaceful “I’ve just been on a retreat” could feel more accepted.
Do you find it frustrating that there is an expectation that Buddhists will be all quiet and smiley and reflective and peaceful and calm? Cos I do! I wasn’t born like that, but I know people who were…and who have never meditated a day in their lives! They’re just naturally that way!
Daisy
Hello Daisymae,
Some of us just have to work harder!
I suspect this is to do with individual karma. Good karma as well as bad karma have to be exhausted. I once said to my root teacher, “For those who are negative I have empathy, and for those who are happy…who appear happy, I have compassion.” He agreed.
Conflict means progress.
Some have path full of nice flowers, for them to stop a smell and appreciate, creating a delay.
Some have path full of uncomfortable rocks – there’s no point in delaying.
Count yourself fortunate! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Tony