Knowingness In Not Knowing
We don’t have to tie ourselves in knots
If we take a quick look at Buddhism in the west, it can appear complex, intellectual, white and middle class. There are rituals, regalia, terminologies and attitudes, like all the other religions. It may seem that they just talk about suffering, and the antidote may appear idealistic, aiming unrealistically for perfection.
If you see it like that, it may be that you have come in the middle of a game of Chinese Whispers (also called the Broken Telephone Game) – broken communication! It actually depends on who is telling us something, and who is listening.
I’ve spoken to many Dharma students: they’re pretty uptight creatures, and don’t portray much of the compassionate essence of the Dharma, but just aloofness to outdo one another.
I have been a Buddhist for over thirty years, and often say to myself, “Can they get to the point?” Since the time of the Buddha, much reviewing, introspection, analysis and translation has gone on, adding more and more text. I’ve got books and notes up to here (holding hand above head!): there’s a constant feeling of not knowing enough because there are always additional teachings, which turn out to be more of the same every time, with the assumption that we forget easily. This gets expensive. If people are treated like four year olds, they will to tend to act like four year olds.
I just had to stop searching and start seeing for myself. Having stayed away from it all for the past six years, assimilating and reviewing for myself by asking, “What do I actually know?”, I am aware of not knowing. Oh my goodness, that’s it!!!
There is a natural awareness that is ever present, beyond all those scholarly words and religious attitudes. It doesn’t matter what I know or don’t know: there is always awareness which is consciousness itself … ever present … spontaneously present … and that’s it! Resting in the realisation of consciousness, we find nothing else. No Buddha, no me, no meditation. Nothing to refer to, but just awareness of knowing nothing in particular. That is the emptiness they keep talking and talking about. That is the completion stage.
Whatever we are discussing – whether it’s the sutras, the tantras and the yanas, or whether this or that happened and what people say about it, everything comes down to knowingness in not knowing anything.
We can chat about it all later when we come out of pure awareness …
There is a story about Marpa and a fellow student who travelled from Tibet to India to gather texts. On their way back, while crossing a lake in the boat, the fellow student became jealous of Marpa and threw all the texts overboard. After experiencing the devastation of this loss, Marpa realised that the only teachings that were of any value to him were the ones that he had personally assimilated.
Knowingness is what we naturally are.
We are already Buddha nature, which means awakened nature.
Our problem may be that we find it difficult to get our head around another’s culture which can, from our own perspective, obscure the natural realisation of consciousness – and that is how we become unbalanced, in the idea of ‘not knowing’. “Buddhism” can get in the way of just being 😀