Why I was Kicked Out Of A Dharma Centre
(this isn’t for delicate minds :D)
Actually, I don’t know why I was kicked out … but it did leave a trauma. And actually, I have been kicked out of other spiritual centres, but each time, the teacher/guru/lama never had the insight to be able to explain why.
We either have to believe in whatever they say and the way that they do things, or we have to leave … or get kicked out. Each time, there was a lack of empathy, and I was left to start alone all over again. On reflection, these were the most influential moments is my life; they were very painful, but turned out to be a refreshment. Emotional pain can be enlightening. It was like being guided … or dragged … from one place to another. 😀 Why? Because the right intention was still present.
Every spiritual tradition has its tradition, and they rarely talk about other points of view. Once we bond with a particular tradition, we become stuck in a narrow way of thinking. All path have truth in them, so no complaints there – the only problem in the world is … people 😀 People (especially ‘spiritual’ people) can talk and pray about compassion, but the empathy needed for compassion to arise is mostly theoretical. Still no complaints – we’re all in the same boat. It’s not until we have been dragged through the mud a few times that we think, “Enough of this! There is something within that knows and sees inconsistencies.” Spiritual evolution isn’t about the teacher’s wellbeing: it’s about the students’ wellbeing!
The problem is method
Methods suit some and not others. All along, I was a Dzogchen/Maha Ati student and didn’t know it – until I found it. And here is a very important point. There are Dzogchen/Maha Ati students who aren’t Dzogchen/Maha Ati students: they are still religious students who adhere to dogma. And the reverse is also true, when Dzogchen/Maha Ati students try to squeeze themselves into a narrower path and just can’t fit in.
Perhaps this shouldn’t be said in public, but if anyone is having problems trusting others, maybe the view and conduct are inconsistent. As an example, in the lower yanas, people stick to rules whereas, in Dzogchen, there is simply seeing; “We are free in the moment of seeing.”
Following others can lead us up a blind alley. I’m not saying those practitioners are blind but, for some of us, their view and conduct may be too serious and lack empathy. Our true spiritual path is our own confusion. That is what we have to deal with, and if things aren’t working for us, maybe we need to take responsibility, and change our approach.
The funny thing is that, once we realise that we are what we seek, all paths look alike. Realisation isn’t for weak minds – weak minds have to be told. Teachings are there so that we realise our true, inner confidence. Don’t ever take the Buddha’s words for it. The Buddha said, “Test it for yourself”. Humility can still be dynamic.