BUDDHA IN THE MUD is a blog – a living book based on the Dzogchen teachings. Our teacher is life, and life is karma. We are all Buddhas in the mud of concepts.

Are you looking for the absolute truth?

Well, there’s only one thing that is stopping you….you!
That which is looking is absolute truth.
It is really that simple.

However we just don’t see it. Why not?
Because we expect to become enlightened when we see it.
It doesn’t work like that 😉

We simply realise that that which is seeing is our true absolute nature,
but we still carry a karmic load – an attitude.
Collapsing our karmic reference library is the real work.

This is done moment by moment,
while at the same time, not creating more.
For this reason, we have to be extremely careful.

If we are half-hearted about looking and recognising,
then we merely maintain the status quo.
If we are committed to looking and recognising,
then we exhaust the status quo.

Holding on to me and mine is what stops the realisation of absolute truth.
So what am I? That which knows in silence.
It’s that simple.
The continuity of that knowingness, moment by moment,
exhausts all karmic effects.
Then we are free.

The Illusion of Reality

The Illusion of Confidence
The Illusion of Capacity
The Illusion of Knowledge
all create
The Illusion of Reality

We, as humans, are either over-confident, or lacking in confidence. It’s all the same thing: the expression of over/under confidence is a projection of confusion as we do not understand our true nature and what we know. We become caught up in either accepting or rejecting to whatever appears, based on an unstable memory, and ignorance of our natural knowingness.

Relative reality is fixated on accepting or rejecting: there is no spontaneous presence, but just a karmic memory – a product from the past which we repeat.
Absolute reality has no memory: it neither accepts nor rejects – just a spontaneous presence without any karmic product from the past, and so nothing to repeat.

We all have a ‘knowing quality’, which is awareness (this is not ordinary perception – it is pure perception). It is the one thing we can trust. What matters is how we (essence) relate to this awareness. Is it pure awareness? Or fossilised awareness?

We react because of mistaken past experiences, and therefore we recreate situations, thus deepening our karmic memory. Feeling guilty about a negative emotion only serves to recreate more emotions. Reaction is a product from our past; our fixed ideas about ourselves and everything. We exaggerate our knowledge, and we make assumptions based on a mistaken memories.

Breaking the illusion is recognising awareness. That’s all we need. In the moment of being aware – of recognising an emotion – there is liberating space. It’s that simple. But then we want to play with it… 😉

In the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything was Forty Two, but they never found the ultimate question to fit the ultimate answer. Whatever question we can come up with to that answer, which was wrong, the question would always be…Faulty Too!

It doesn’t matter how clever or dim we think we are, this judgement will always be an illusion, because knowingness is naturally present. And that is why we go round in circles, playing with the illusion, trying to make it fit reality… Forty two! Faulty too? Forty two! Faulty too?

The Value of Ritual
(of course rituals can become mechanical and only feel nice when they stop!
Meditation can get like that.)

This is connected to the illusion of knowledge – merely repeating and not understanding. We can easily fool ourselves into thinking that we know something, mainly because we don’t ask the question…why?

As humans we are naturally ritualistic – we follow routines. It’s that old habitual patterning again. If we took an aerial shot of our lives, we’d see our deep tram lines of behaviour on the map: just check your browsing history on the internet. We are addicts ;-)! (incidentally, internet and phone surveillance records record these patterns. The funny thing is that those who are doing the surveillance will also be surveyed…like dogs chasing their tails…crazy!)

Spiritual ritual does have a value: it’s a ritual within a ritualistic life. It’s a reminder to stop being busy, but it can easily become part of our busy-ness…crazy!

Throughout our spiritual lives, we gradually pick up practices, and there are more formalised ones in spiritual centres. They do help to set a space aside from the humdrum life of being an information pundit.

It doesn’t really matter why we do ritual practice. It is at least something, and fruition may grow out of our confusion. The point is to be whole-hearted about it, and know what we are doing and why. We do it because it is meaningful to us.

Since doing certain practices, my life has changed: amongst these are the prayers to Manjushri (this helps with memory), Vajra Kilaya (for protection), Chenrezig (for compassion), Dorje Yudroma (for protection), and Guru Rinpoche for (correctness). Most important are the refuge prayers at the beginning, and the dedication to all sentient beings at the end, plus long life prayer for my teachers. Within the practices, there are breaks to just let go…it’s nice to stop…emptiness! This is called the completion stage.

I just couldn’t start the day without communicating with and receiving from the enlightened ones – supplications and blessings.

The recognition that all mental appearances are like rainbows – insubstantial – helps in the death process, where everything is seen as mere projections of the mind and therefore there is nothing to fear.

Should we be confident?
What is confidence? What does ‘should’ mean?

And then there is the illusion of confidence, living in a world of ‘shoulds’…

Confidence: something we feel certain about.
Should: correct, an expected state, suggestion, probability, acceptance, hope.

There are many aspect to this, but the final conclusion comes from Garba Dorje statement:

‘Three words that strike the vital point’:
“Recognise your own nature,
decide on one point and
gain confidence in liberation.”

It all comes down to recognition.

However, we still have to deal with over-confidence (over positive, and not in keeping with one’s actual abilities) and with the feeling of guilt about what we ‘should’ be doing. Confidence and what we should be doing, are connected and this connection is founded in recognition.

When we have something specific to do, we should be accurate with it – be correct. Then we will gain confidence arising from ability: the more we learn, the lower we assess our abilities because we recognise that there is more to learn.

When we are not specific about what to do, there are no shoulds – we may chose to do it, or not. It is only when we recognise the significance of what we want to do that we should engage correctly and thereby gain confidence. For example, we don’t have to meditate or do yidam practice, but if we recognise there is a purpose for those practices, we should then do them properly…and thereby gain confidence.

Others can suggest that we do something – that we should do something – but it is up to us to recognise whether that thing is actually worth doing. If so, we should then do it properly, whether it’s changing our mindset or changing a tyre on the car!

A problem arises with group mentality and conforming.
A group can be useful as it may help generate positive energy and give a sense of direction and support. But we mustn’t exchange our initial inspiration to recognise truth for the comforting security of being part of a group. Groups can produce a false confidence, a sort of dogma of rules that we should do. But these have nothing to do with recognising the truth, and knowingness can be missed.

This false confidence is full of projections and over-expression. It is like a lack of confidence posing as confidence, projecting all the right words but without compassion. True confidence feels and tastes the situation: it may not look confident, because it is not fixating – just tasting.

It is because of this tasting and reviewing of our reactions that we can recognise our true nature, decide on that one point, and gain confidence that liberation is possible.

As grandma use to say,
“Empty vessels make the most noise”
Empty here means a lack of confidence.

When we are truly empty
we make no noise at all
as we rest in confidence.
We have arrived so there is nothing we should do.

Alien Contacts

Are there aliens?
Well, yes and no.

We must use logic to dispel fantasy, and see what remains. We then dispel that which remains with wisdom, and arrive at the truth – our essential nature. That’s what it’s all about, after all!

Aliens.
If we consider reincarnation, then we are all (every being in the universe) aliens taking rebirth somewhere, in some realm, in some form. If we have had infinite rebirths, then we have been aliens of all sorts…we just forget this.

In Tibetan text, the Bardo is mentioned. ‘Bardo’ means gap, the gap between death and birth (there are also three Bardos in death, and four in life).

Just after death, we are invited to the higher realms (these appearances may be interpreted in many ways), but because of our propensity to cling to a self image and emotions, we turn away and gravitate to one of the six sentient realms…again! (more detailed information about these realms is on this blog).

Towards the end of the death process comes the “Bardo of Becoming” where we choose our next incarnation (but this is actually dictated by our attitude – karma – which drives us to take a resultant form). Every sentient being in any dimension goes through this process, until enlightened. To repeat: if this is so, then we have all been “aliens”. We are aliens now…I know I am 😉 !

Every reported alien encounter I have read has expressed superficial, vague ideas with smatterings of platitudes. It’s like something from a comic for the needy, given to us by an ‘adorable’ uncle. You know the type I mean! No information purported to have been received from “aliens” ever – EVER – comes up the the standard of the Buddha’s understanding and teachings . From what I can gather, we know more about the nature of reality than these ‘aliens’ communicate to us via these ‘adorable’ uncles.

We even hear from certain people who think themselves sages (‘adorable’ uncles) to whom the aliens speak. Anything that comes into our mind may be – and is – interpreted in many ways. These voices can appear to come from aliens, or God: I don’t know whether this is the same thing, but every day I am inspired to write something. This is due to having received precious wisdom from authentic masters of the Buddha’s teachings, which I synthesise and then write down. I suppose I could claim that this is communication from aliens, or God, but neither would be true. These writings also come from a lot of practice and study, and are provable beyond any belief.

Everything in the mind is a creation…make-believe…and people are highly suggestible, as shown in this video. The Asch conformity experiment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyDDyT1lDhA
We can be made to believe anything, because we lack true confidence in our true reality. So, we make a reality up, or worse – conform to another’s reality. I’ve attended retreats where this type of behaviour has gone on: sentimentality in the guise of spirituality. In a world of computer games and fantasy films, it’s easy to hypnotise people, especially children, who do not ever grow up. The hypnotist-craftsman merely nudges us along, deeper into the dream.

If you want to contact an alien, just talk to a neighbour or member of the family…even your own self image. What every alien thinks is already in your own mind, and that of others. Have you ever wondered why we, as humans, are so different – despite all experiencing identical emotions?

Conspiracy theorists maintain that films reflect what is going on (especially sci-fi films): they are merely part of the illusion created to preserve our hypnotic state. It is frighteningly easy to make the masses believe anything.

Aliens – you just gotta love ’em 😉

There are couple of French partridges that visit our garden every day.
Who knows?
They could be a two reincarnated Pleiadians.
Nothing is fixed.

NB this is not to deny that there are conspiracies and atrocities going on, but the “alien agenda” is a distraction.

Healing without Healing

If you were a doctor who’d studied medicine but never saw or interacted with patients, your studies would be pointless, as they would not be being put into practice. The same goes for the Dharma, which is also a healing mechanism.

Everyone we meet is suffering in some way, even other ‘doctors’. It all depends how deeply we look. Practice makes perfect: by interacting, we can go deeper while healing our own imperfections at the same time.

Dharma students are potentially holy* people…we need to act like that. We can start by not rejecting those who do not conform to our lifestyle. Simply ask someone how they feel…and listen. This listening involves spaciousness, allowing the other space in which to express themselves, without diving in to correct, modify, elaborate. Letting the person be, in order to see for themselves without any expectation.

*Holy: dedicated to spiritual purpose, morally and spiritually excellent.
This doesn’t mean we have to appear affected in any way: that is the path of unholiness, and makes others uncomfortable. If we start to think ourselves as holy, we separate ourselves from others. “Holy” is being one with…wholesome…holy-some… 😉

Abiding in Space

This is the problem inherent in looking for yourself.

Is this self abiding in space, or self-abiding space?
We have to be very careful with what we are told.

‘Abiding in space’ suggests something abiding in space – a me.
Duality.
In ‘Self-abiding space’ there is no something to abide – no me.
Non-duality.

In meditation, this may not be recognised clearly,
and there may be only milimoments of true recognition.
Of totally letting go of letting go.

It is clear that outer space is merely self abiding, needing nothing to be – it just is.
The same goes for inner space.
The only difference is that inner space is pure knowingness/awareness.

It’s good to practise being aware of both – coming in and out of each.

Eyes open and aware of the whole scene including one’s peripheral vision.
Allowing everything to hit the back of the eyes instantaneously enables
this self-abiding awareness to be recognised, without any elaboration.
Like a child walking into a cathedral, one sees everything at once,
without identifying anything.

This is the meeting between outer space and inner space.
When the vase breaks, the space inside and outside are not different.

Not so much idiot meditation, as stupidity meditation

This has to be looked at very carefully: different traditions approach the Dharma in different ways. The approach in the Kagyu tradition is to ask nicely for the mind to retire, whereas in Nyingma, it is not so nice. Although both may use crazy wisdom, Dzogchen in the Nyingma tradition can apply the shock treatment, which is down to the relationship between teacher and student…or an inspired moment which just happens spontaneously!

On retreat, when I first met my present teacher, it came out – in public – that I had spent 25 years in stupidity meditation (just sitting there). This was due to having practised previously in the Kagyu tradition, where one lets the mind rest, and everything drops away: that which is left is Mahamudra (Mahamudra is essence, and is the same as Rigpa in the Nyingma tradition).

Suffice to say, Kagyu didn’t work for me as I didn’t know what I was looking for…even though I had asked.

Anyway, the shock and anger I felt arising at realising I had spent so much time in “stupidity meditation” (“idiot” meditation was my words) was aimed at the right person at the right time. To ask the question whether one had wasted 25 years and receive the response of a nod and a shrug was a deep shock – to be followed by “Are you OK about this?” to which I replied, “No, I’m bloody angry, but I will do as you say.”

This approach may or may not work, and it may take time for the shock to manifest. This is a very important point, as dualistic fixations have to collapse.

Talking from experience, there can be many such shocks in one’s lifetime – they are devastating, and not fun. Very uncomfortable and painful. Not everyone is ready for such devastation, annihilation, mental collapse! After eleven years with a previous lama, he suddenly kicked me out …crazy wisdom? Or not? After five years with an Bengali guru on a path of total devotion, he kicked my wife and me out…perhaps our faces didn’t fit. After nine years with a fourth way group, they kept threatening to kick me out…oh, hang on…perhaps I’m just really annoying! 🙂

Back to the retreat…after the meeting, people would come up to me and try and smooth my mind. This was very kind – and very annoying – as this was something I had to fully experience, and not to try and conceptualise and justify it. I had to truly realise that time had not been wasted, because its fruition had the effect of grounding me, cutting through all expectations, hopes and fears.

There is no right or wrong here, but only what suits the individual. And I now know when I’m lost in stupidity meditation, and when I’m not.

I called my ‘self’ the idiot.
It’s nice to know!

Idiot Meditation – The Banal Self

To become enlightened, we must first identify
the obstacle to enlightenment.
This obstacle is the created image of ourself.
Clever me 😉

This image can be very subtle, so subtle that we
can achieve an enlightened ego, and become a master of
conventional reality – the great illusionist.
This is not enlightenment, but merely a puffed-up idea.
The claim “I am” clearly reveals this.
That is the banality of self. The source of evil.
Because of this we create hope and fear, we feel we have
to defend ourself and attack others.

When practising, one of the problems is being caught up
in “idiot meditation”. Being trapped in a vacant state.
In this vacant state, there is no insight, no knowing,
no emotion, no virtue, no clarity.
This is just a vacant state of perception
– but this is not pure perception, which is pure essence.

The trap is “I experience”, “I rest in stillness”, “I am aware”,
“I am being”…these are still at the conventional level of reality.
This “I” mentality gives rise to sentimentality.

Holding on to an mental image of ourselves is the reason
we repeat everything, with the same attitude.

Through proper instruction, we can break through this barrier,
to pure awareness – pure essence.
Then, there is just stillness, just awareness, just is-ness and just love.
This is not a sentimental love, as it knows the true nature of everything.

Ps, Idiot meditation is a tough lesson, I did this for 25 years!

The Danger of Conformity

This is a delicate subject, as we all think that we’re on the side of good…think again!

We merely have both potentials of good or evil. This video, by Professor Philip Zimbardo, explains what can happen to us when we get caught up in group dynamics.

Becoming involved in any group, we can lose our way. We relinquish our brains, our empathy and our humanity and become a type, a caricature, for good or evil (just to reiterate: ‘evil’ is a lack of active empathy, which can be under the guise of ‘good’).

Heroes do not conform. Zimbardo uses the phrase “the banality of heroism.” Heroism is quite ordinary. Heroes do not stand around being one of the group, feeling safe. Heroes are confident and clear about what they have to do.

Another phrase Zimbardo uses is, “the banality of evil”…interesting!

It’s well worth studying his work to gain a greater understanding of our potential: there are times when we feel that we can’t just sit on our nest meditating and feeling good, occupied with our own progress and evolution 😉

NB The content of this video is harrowing.

I know, and I don’t know
These are two mental prisons.

How our conventional reality imposes on to absolute reality.

On a conventional level, it’s beneficial to know how to do something, and to admit when we don’t know how to do something. In the first scenario, we can cruise on auto pilot, whereas in the second we can learn something. The problem arises when we become stuck in a realm of “I know!” and “I dunno!”. When this happens, we become a type, a profession, a caricature, and we lose our knowingness or awareness of our true nature. I find I’m in a constant oscillation – lost and found!

If we think we know ‘something’ or can do ‘something’, then we are not actually experiencing it: we are merely repeating a pattern of behaviour, going round in circles, and giving the impression of knowing, of being enlightened. This is pride (we are talking here about function in relative reality). We then project our imagined talents onto situations, and stop refining perception, thus delaying our arrival at the final shore.

A genuine change in perception is moving closer to genuine enlightenment.

There is knowing, and there is knowingness. Knowingness is merely being open to a situation without imposing anything on to it. It is just being aware in a situation. When having something explained to us, we merely listen, neither accepting nor rejecting. The explanation is that person’s point of view, and may not require ‘correcting’ from our point of view. These are both merely viewpoints, again on a relative level.

“I don’t know” has the same effect as “I know”: both dominate a situation. We feel inferior, unfortunate, unappreciated, got at. This is inverted pride (another function in relative reality).

“I know” and “I don’t know” are all about me. There are ‘things’ we don’t know about, but we can learn – that’s if we want to – instead of holding onto an idea about ourselves. When we learn, we then know something. Knowingness is already present, as is awareness, but usually goes unnoticed, because we are straight in there, confusing the situation!

I suspect that even in dementia, when we forget names of thing or who people are, we will still have a sense of knowing, of being aware. Animals cannot communicate to explain the name of things, but still have awareness, a knowingness about a situation.

I know and I don’t know.
Pride and inverted pride.
Both are imprisoned in their own realm.

Pride is a feeling of being special because of being smarter, richer, higher than others.
Inverted pride is a feeling of being special because of being a victim, of being poor, of being insecure and of perceiving oneself to be inadequate.

Pride spends a lot of time talking about how wonderful it is, and how much more deserving. Inverted pride monopolises the conversation with self-condemnation, talking about how unfortunate it is: “Poor me!”.

Both attitudes are all about me, me, me with little consideration of how that focus on one’s self ignores the rest of humanity, and doesn’t recognise that other people have their own qualities and deeds to be proud of, or to regret.

This brings us to the alaya, and the alayavijnana.
The alaya and alayavijnana are two Sanskrit words for the eighth consciousness – the store house of memories – our karmic bank and its contents. The first five are the sense consciousnesses, the sixth is perception, the seventh is judgement, and the eighth is our reference library. The alaya is the hard drive, and the alayavijnana is the software = memory imprints. We relate to the outer world through these eight consciousnesses (there is more information about these consciousnesses in the ‘search’ facility of this blog).

The trap into which we fall is being stuck in the eighth consciousness, which is “I experience”, “I rest in stillness”, “I am aware”, “I am”…these are still at the conventional level of reality, and this is the reason why we repeat everything.

Through proper instruction, we can break through this barrier, to what could be called the ninth consciousness – pure awareness – essence – higher self. Then, there is just stillness, just awareness, just is-ness. One one level, this is called Rigpa, and on a higher level it is termed Dharmakaya, although other traditions will give this other names.

Is your spiritual welfare being looked after?

Neither time nor space exist – but they are the two most precious things we have! In our relative existence, we need time and space in order to practise. Time to just be, and a clear space in which to ‘be’. Everything else we do is just to support that.

Teachers do not have the time to guide every student individually: they can only offer you the ball, but you have to practise and play with it.

Somehow, we have to sustain our own aspiration.

We have to be clear and confident in why and how to practise properly. This brings us to the concept of reincarnation and future lives. Can reincarnation be proved? Well no, but psychologically, a consideration of the possibility of reincarnation has a huge effect on our lives – although of course, not everyone would agree ;-). Much can be inferred from being born with certain tendencies and inclinations, and a recognition that pure essence never changes. There is also the aspect of accumulated good and bad karma which will have effect on future lives.

The main point is that by not identifying with this mind and body, we never feel old. We will practise constantly until the very last breath, resting in pure awareness and unconditional happiness. So the idea of a better incarnation in the future, and a genuine wish to be of benefit to sentient beings because of the sadness that arises from watching others suffer unnecessarily, can sustain us throughout our practice

Softness and Sentimentality in Spirituality

Softness is melting our frozen fixations.

Sentimentality is brittle,
imposing hopes and fears and fabricating emotional pressure.

One is absolute reality.
The other is a conventional projection.

In the heat of sentimentality
there is the potential to recognise the coolness of softening.

And that is challenging,
because sentimentality requires acknowledgement as it is our relative truth.
It can melt into emptiness.

Softness and sentimentality are an interwoven tapestry,
completing the picture.

We can be in love with sentimentality
or be, in love with softness.

.