Still depressed and dissatisfied?!
You are absolutely right to be depressed and dissatisfied, because everything around us is feeding our mind with concepts! We have two obstacles: one is that we do not know our true nature, and the other is that we are maintaining this not-knowing. In Buddhism, these are known as the two ignorances (co-emergent and conceptual).
The great news is that we can see this going on: we do not have to cover it up. In its most raw state, this can be really painful, as everything we believed seems pointless. When our beliefs in how things are supposed to be are shattered, we have nothing to hang onto. Scary!
We are looking for reality in a fabricated world…the only thing that is real is the awareness of this unreality. We have a conflict between relative truth, which is “seeming reality”, and absolute truth, which is your pure essence (pure perception).
We have become familiar with this seeming reality: we are not yet familiar with the true reality, which is our natural state.
Everything we know isn’t wrong: it’s just mistaken. If someone tries to get you back to ‘normal’, walk away! They just want to get you back to their illusion. Of course, it’s tempting to go back into the field and be shepherded, but a glimmer of reality is such a relief – just being free is a little scary, until one toughens up and builds confidence.
There is a step-by-step approach to understand this – it is logical, and is known in Buddhism as Mind Training. It uses meditation to arrive at non-meditation.
The first thing to do is recognise that we are suffering. This is an essential step.
Next, we have to recognise the cause of that suffering (which is normally the fixated ideas that we hold, which produce negative emotions and obscure our view).
The third stage is to find a method (a path) that leads away from the suffering.
Finally, we tread that path.
This is the Middle Way, between the two extremes of nihilism (everything is pointless) and eternalism (everything is real).
We have every right to be dissatisfied,
and in that,
we shall find our answer.