The Tender Trap

The most effective element of a trap is its transparency; it doesn’t look like a cage, so we think that’s the way things are supposed to be.

When we look at both religious and secular systems, the subtle trap functions through displacement of authority – we surrender our responsibility to something external. In religion, authority is placed in an imperceivable God or an ancient text. In the secular consumerist system, authority is placed in the market.

In both cases, the individual is taught to look outside themselves for validation, truth, or a sense of worth.

Both create a void that only they are allowed to fill. The subtlety lies in how these systems hijack our natural desires for belonging and safety. To question the system feels like we’re risking our connection to others, which is the most basic human fear. This keeps the trap set.

Once we realise the trap we’re in, do we show others the walls of the box, or is it a journey people have to stumble on to by themselves? It’s down to individual motivation and experience – or the lack of it.

Even the realisation that we’re in a trap can feel like another part of the programme, which makes us angry and reactive.

Perhaps the only way out of the box is the spark
that isn’t part of the system.

The oddness that wakes us up.