I Am Not Good Enough
In trying to be perfect, we create obstacles to understanding perfection that already exists. We are already perfect.
In ordinary life, this perfection is obscured. Forgotten.
When we engage on a spiritual path, we wish to find perfection, and often feel a failure because perfection has not been explained succinctly in order for us to have experiential understanding (I sometimes wonder whether systems make us feel like failures, keeping us in nappies – see Spiritual Nappy Rash 😉 ).
If we don’t feel good enough, then perfection has not been explained properly. As a result, we become ritualistic, copying everyone else. We go through the act of perfection. This is the system of step-by-step uncovering. However, because of a lack of true understanding of what the ultimate goal of perfection is, we become bound up in trying to perfect each step; this creates an obstacle of believing “I’m not good enough yet!”. Here we can be fixated on perfecting the practice, and find that we are stuck in what my teacher calls “idiot meditation”. I was stuck for twenty five years…and acknowledgement of this was painful.
Of course we are not good enough yet, as we haven’t realised what is meant by ‘perfection’! There is also a sort of spiritual control and competitiveness going on, with projections of “See how good I am!” We then meet the huge obstacle of “Do I have to be like them?”!
We have enough problems
with our own inferiority complex
to have to put up with this crap as well!
There is another path of direct seeing for ourselves.
This direct seeing gives immediate confidence and a sense of relief. This brings unshakeable joy, and true compassion. Nobody can ever pull the wool over our eyes ever again.
Here it is.
Sometimes the mind is clear. Sometimes the mind is dull. Sometimes the mind is full of activity. Sometimes the mind is depressed. Sometimes the mind is loving. Sometimes the mind hates.
Know that whatsoever appears in the mind, awareness is naturally present.
The true nature of awareness is pure emptiness, always remaining uncontaminated. That’s it! Whatsoever is written on the page, know that it is seen only by virtue of the clear, uncontaminated page. That’s it! We don’t need rituals to be aware; it’s forever present. It’s perfect.
There is nothing more. This perfection merely perceives thoughts and memories from the past; the recognition of these is a stirring in space/emptiness which merely brightens awareness. As long as awareness does not follow the memories, trying to create a future, it remains at peace. Losing awareness in concepts and emotions is merely karma at work; this contaminates the process but not perfection itself. Getting lost in thoughts – losing awareness of awareness – merely delays our progress.
Everything is perfect as it is.
Whether recognition is slow or immediate,
it is still perfect.
We are more than good enough.