What If You Are Not A Group Person?
It’s easy to claim that one is an ‘ungrouper’ …
Merely saying, “I don’t belong to any group”, doesn’t mean we are not a type. We are all types. To find out about anything, we first join a group, and see how it feels: over the years, I’ve joined many groups because I wasn’t sure of myself. 😀
Group think creates ‘political correctness’. ‘Political correctness’ is commune-ism, having a common purpose, and consenting to a certain way of life; being controlled and self maintained (policed) by a system. If we are not part of the group and its way of life, then we are seen as its enemy. The hallmark of group mentality is that it is easily offended. ‘Ungroupers’ are shunned – ‘shun’: Old English scunian: abhor, shrink back with fear, seek safety from an enemy: they are persistently avoided, ignored, or rejected. This is especially so in spiritual groups; not a very enlightened attitude, is it?
Groups work at different levels, so finding the one that suits us isn’t a simple matter. We notice how groups are averse to being questioned – they draw back and close ranks.
First we have to try and fit in, in order to see if their direction is our direction. Then we can make a decision … “Do I stay or do I go?” If we choose to go, it’s not necessarily because the group is bad – in fact it could give us a fresh start – but when we find our own feet, we realise that our paths have diverged. This is not to do with the essence of the teaching, but with its manifestation.
The hallmark of confidence is happiness, relief and satisfaction. “Wow! I’m actually free, I don’t have to be like them any more!” That, in itself, is enlightening – the load drops away and we feel lighter!
Being in a group feels safe – until we recognise that we are surrounded on all sides by clingers, hopers and fearers. Then we just have to let go. Ultimately, the only group to join is the enlightened ones, and for that, we need to drop everything. Even if all the enlightened ones were to say, “You are deluded!”, the reply – with a smile – would be, “I realise that I am disillusioned”. 😀
Disillusion: disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be: to realise that a belief is false …
… to realise that a belief – in a self – is false …