“I Don’t Like My Teacher or Teachers”
Actually, this feeling has its positive side, if we look closely enough. The ‘teacher’ has created a reaction in us. This is not intentional: it’s part of a process of relating to our own minds. At first, the teacher is very dear to us, but then we start to see flaws. The teacher is only a sort of catalyst.
Catalyst: something that increases the rate of reaction – emotions are like that.
In Buddhism, we are supposed to see the teacher as the Buddha. Some take to this easily, whereas some don’t. In the beginning, we try, and then it feels fake, and this makes our feelings even worse. It’s not easy adopting another’s culture.
Perhaps we feel that the teacher is not giving us enough attention, or we don’t like certain aspects of religious display. Perhaps we feel that the other students or disciples fawn too much.
Fawn: given to servile display of exaggerated flattery or affection, typically in order to gain favour. It happens.
Anyway, what is happening is that we are seeing how our mind works. It’s a good thing! The teacher, after all, is only preparing us for ‘life itself as the teacher’ … or they should be. Of course, a teacher or guru has an organisation around them, so that the system is available for newcomers: this can seem to get out of hand, and appear to be all about revenue. It happens.
There is no need to become upset and turn off. Anger is mirror-like wisdom. All the negative emotions have a wisdom aspect: something is seen and there is a reaction. It is the very first moment of seeing – of awareness, of consciousness – that is the point. The reaction and recognition are simultaneous. This is the meaning of the unity of the two truths of relative reality and absolute reality.
The inner teacher has confidence in the outer teacher – the symbolic teacher of life – and that is how compassion arise. We have grown up. It happens!