FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out

We all want to be ‘where it’s at’, don’t we? To be in the inner circle. The truth is – we are already where it’s at! We are the inner circle of no circumference; pure consciousness, without exclusions.

The desire to be in the know can haunt us, and rule our entire lives. Becoming obsessed about missing out could lead to depression or even suicidal feelings. C.S Lewis wrote about the inner circle, and came to a wonderful conclusion – that when we pay attention to whatever we are doing, we become the inner circle – and this has guided me my entire life because it reflects the Buddha’s words, “Do not take my word for it; test it for yourself”.

We can spend decades going to retreats and teachings in the fear of missing out, hoping “Maybe this time, they’ll tell us the secret”, but that never materialises so we keep going back, just in case.

Fearing missing out, we never get to trust what we actually experience. We become reliant, and then impose the teachings onto situations instead. The teachings may make us feel better, but we are vulnerable when we deal with outsiders because we’re limited to one particular tradition and haven’t realised the true essence of all sentient beings. We may shun others’ views and stay within our group, continuing to be caught up in the form.

Empathy is the ability to understand how another feels. When I meet a ‘spiritual’ person who can actually do that, I’ll let you know 😀 We live in a world of strife, so there are no expectations to get on with one another; we share a few moments, and move on.

Realising we are what we seek and we are where its at – the inner centre of pure consciousness – we no longer chase after others’ exclusive limitations. Inner circles do exist in organisations: they are not evil, but the desire to be in the inner circle can create problems with confidence and progress. We just have to leave others to get on with it.

On our journey to realisation, we can rub shoulders for a while and then move on. We learn sequentially through genuine, everyday experiences and interactions. Nobody can do this for us, not even a Buddha. Our reactions to this life are our root teacher, as life is with us at every moment.

It’s quite simple: we merely have to pay attention to what weare doing. If we have a problem, welook more closely. If we are bored,welook more closely. In this way, confidence grows … and attracts! We no longer have to wonder where the inner circle is. 😀 We (consciousness) are in the zone!

When we stop running after others,
we will find inner peace
in the inner circle of inner consciousness.

It’s such a relief!




Excerpts from C. S. Lewis’s essay is entitled “The Inner Ring”. It describes our common desire to be accepted within the ‘inner ring’ of whatever group matters to us at the time.

To feel ‘excluded’ or ‘out of it’ is miserable. yet the desire to be ‘in’ can make you say things you would not otherwise say or not say things you should say. This desire to be on the inside of whatever group you aspire to join can affect your relationships at work, in the community, and in the church.

“I am not going to say that the existence of Inner Rings is an evil. It is certainly unavoidable. but the desire which draws us to Inner Rings is another matter. A thing may be morally neutral and yet the desire for that thing may be dangerous… “As long as you are governed by that desire, you will never get what you want. You are trying to peel an onion: if you succeed there will be nothing left. Until you conquer the fear of being an outsider, an outsider you will remain.”

“The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surprising result will follow. If in your working hours you make the work your end, you will presently find yourself all unawares inside the only circle in your profession that really matters. You will be one of the sound craftsmen, and the other sound craftsmen will know it. “

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