It Is Easy To Fall Out of Love …
but difficult to fall out of hate.
We all ‘fall out of love’ with someone, something or some idea at some time. A small irritation occurs and is exaggerated and so, we fall out of love and move on to another love. But when we dislike someone, something or some idea, that dislike sticks; it can turn to hatred, and seem impossible to shift. We’re stuck with it, and we sentence that person or that idea and, by doing so, we sentence ourselves – probably for life! That’s how we are programmed – love and hate – like and dislike.
Do we hate more than we love? Was that ‘love’…love? Or merely an emotional attachment? Let’s take it that our conventional love is a flighty thing, here today and gone tomorrow, and so we continue to look elsewhere for something to love.
Hate sticks with us because we refuse to look at it, making it a no-go area. Our dislikes cling and seem to last for ever. If we can look at this and investigate, we may find that we are actually on the road to real love, which is freedom. Funny, that.
What is it about the person, thing or idea that we hate? The list will be endless 🙂 In fact, the list will probably describe the whole world! There is nowhere to go … so, now we are getting somewhere. All these dislikes are within our own mind. We have a ideal which limits us, and nothing matches up to it.
It is at this point that we can move from the conventional truth to the absolute truth.
The Buddha’s first noble truth is to admit that we are suffering. Once we admit this, we can take that deeper look. The more honest we are about our feelings, the more clearly we see. It is all about the ‘I’ – a conventional identification with this human existence – merging with feelings about ideas that causes us grief. Whatever captures the attention of essence (pure awareness/consciousness), that becomes the identification, the ‘I’: that is the illusion. This is the same as watching a movie and identifying with the emotions projected by that movie, and that is why we are so easily led – and misled.
That is how essence is captured. Everyone’s ‘I’ is in the same boat. In terms of conventional truth, everyone loves their ‘I’, but on closer inspection, they are suffering because they are quick to defend themselves and to attack others. By the practice of seeing it in others and then reviewing it in ourselves, we see that we are also imprisoned by the same delusion. When it comes down to it, we hate this smug ‘I’: we hate our feelings.
These feelings are not us; they are feelings, which we will not let go of. It’s what life – our karma – threw our way. Who is feeling these feelings? The identifying of essence with ideas about our life. Essence, our true cognitive nature, merely acknowledges these comings and goings.
Once we recognise that these comings and goings are of a temporary nature, we become free.