How Did I Become So Confused?
Confused: a person unable to think clearly; bewildered, as thoughts are mingled together.
If we know that we are confused, then we know something. That ‘knowing something’ is knowingness itself. The recognition of knowing that we are confused is the dawning of wisdom. This is because it is recognised that the mind is confused; we are not the mind, but rather, mind essence which is the nature of emptiness. The knowingness.
If we think we’re not confused (which is the majority of the population who chant the mantra, “I know, I know”) then knowingness is still present, but obscured. We live in a world of ‘knowers’: they have learnt their programme well, fit into society well, complain and consent well. So nothing changes.
The recognition of knowing that we are confused is the dawning of wisdom. Actually, it is wisdom itself! The ‘I’ is always confused as it is a relating truth; recognising this is the realisation of wisdom. Everything takes place within empty essence. Empty essence is the source from whence everything originates. When the source of empty essence dims and is obscured by relating to something other, we are distracted from the source. Thus, we start creating.
Confusion is mingling together the two truths, which causes conflict.
“It’s dark!” “It’s light!” Indecision … indecision …
Wisdom is seeing the unity of the two truths, which frees all conflict.
Because of the light, there is awareness of darkness. That’s all.
The dark reminds us of the light that sees the dark.
“I am so confused in my meditation.”
The awareness of that is the meditation.
Once we relax and accept this, we
stop trying too hard
stop being serious
We can then relax into pure awareness
where there is no meditation.